This is rarely a real problem. Most times, you can easily accommodate an additional person. This does not mean there are not times when you need to hold (kindly, gently, yet firmly) to your original plan.
If you are having a large bash, (remember, that, to me, is about 30+), one or two extras will hardly make a difference. Say expansively,
"Why, of course, we'd be thrilled to meet him/her!"
Then enjoy the evening! You may meet a new friend! My best friend brought someone new to a recent party and she was such a delight that she will continue on my guest list for years to come!
However, if you are hosting one or two couples, chances are that you've carefully chosen these friends and already partially planned your menu. It can mess up the chemistry you are looking for if an extra is added. This is not always the case, most times I am happy to add to my guest list, but for the times that you need to keep it to only those invited, you can graciously and with great reluctance say,
"Oh my, you know any other time, I'd be happy to include them, however this time, I was so hoping it would just be us. We selfishly wanted you to ourselves for the evening!"
This should diffuse any hurt feelings and leave your guests feeling special, which to me, is the reason one entertains in the first place.
Both scenarios have happened to me on a regular basis, so you know I'd never give you advice I haven't taken myself!
Now sit down and put together that guest list for your Christmas bash. Hope to see you there!
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