Thursday, February 5, 2015

In which I am tortured...

     It's 1478. "As you refuse to convert, you will be tortured. Send her to the BASEMENT." Our hapless prisoner is lead to a dark room where other victims are waiting and told to climb onto a machine, where her feet are attached to pedals by straps and it is requested she sit on a small metal seat the side of a postage stamp. She waits in the dark, when the head torturer arrives and tells our victims to begin pedaling. Trying to frantically find a comfortable position on the tiny seat, as her tender buttocks are beginning to numb she obeys. "Well, I can handle this, even if it is a bit awkward", she thinks. Then our leader shouts "JUMP!" and at once the other prisoners begin rapidly pedaling while standing for a few seconds and down again on the horrible seat. The pain is intense and the heavy breathing is audible. "If you are doing this correctly, I will see bodies in the aisles when I'm done!" the torturer shouts. (actual quote). Then we are told we must "run", so we stand on our devices and pedal, oh, do we pedal for 2 minutes, while she counts down the time....40 seconds, 30...20...sweet Jesus....10 and then sit. Oh, the seat feels better than a feather bed. How she could sit here for hours and just nice, so nice...and then "JUMP! We are done with the easy stuff, let's go to work!" 
     "I confess!!!" our prisoner shouts. "To ANYTHING....Everything!!! Just make it stop...."  She is led from the room, sobbing, weak, and shaking. "See you next week!" The lead Inquisitor calls joyfully from the back of the room. THE SPIN CLASS 2015 - by Carolyn Di Leo